I was asked a question the other day that got me to thinking. It relates to Otherkin and my claim to being Dark Faerie and a new claim of being Demonkin also. The question was how do I know I am both when the two seem to be so very similar. So this got my brain to baking on the topic and aside from saying I just know I came up with the following.
First off, when I think of my faerie side I get one image of myself: fair skin with dark blue and black swirled tattoos on my body that seem to change pattern and shape each time you look at them and when provoked short spiky thorns rise up on my entire body, hair that tends to be black or dark dark blue and range from real short and slicked to the head to just past shoulder lengthy, a crown of short white horns some nubby some spiked peaking out from my hair the ones up top are more pronounced and they get smaller as they trace around to the back of my head (when I say crown I refer to the area of the head starting a few inches in from the hairline making a circle, sort of like resting a crown on the back side of the head almost as opposed to directly on top), sometimes a catlike tail the same colour as my skin, blue sometimes black eyes, a mouth full of pointed teeth, and I have two sets of wings the more common dragonfly style wings and a set of larger butterfly/dragon wings I use both to describe cause they look butterfly patterned but the shape and size is kind of dragon or gargoyle like.
The other side, demonic if you will, I get another image: tall and lethal, skin a deep shade of red, legs covered in thick black fur ending in ebony hooves, on the outside of my forearms are these fin like pieces that are the same shade as my skin but are bone hard and razor sharp, long black hair tucked behind to large ebony rams style horns, eyes like two black pools, and a mouth full of pointed teeth with my upper and lower canines being much longer than the rest, the upper canines hang out of my mouth overlapping the bottom lip. I know both images are very typical descriptions of both species but that is what I get.
The second part of this was friendships and relations. In my experience some kin types tend to avoid or not get along well with others. Not all but sometimes this happens. My husband and I were talking about a friend of mine, Warlock, and why he didn't like him. My husband was under the impression that Warlock was Celestial, cause him being Dragon sometimes he doesn't get along with Celestials. I said no, Warlock's Lycan with a Vampire tendency. Granted he tends to be much darker at times, but this got us to talking about Kin relationships and why his energies don't always bother me, while other Fae who are around him tend to be attracted to him but at the same time are afraid. Do I get along with him cause some part of me is demonic? Or is all just Dark Fae?
The third part was hunger, faeries in general like to bite and bite a lot. But I just don't want to bite I want to devour your very soul and essence. It's not just sampling or blood play or even tasting now and again...I want to eat you. Somewhat vampiric I know but how many faeries do you know that want to eat someone?
The fourth and last reason had to do with magics. Being Fae I feel that they have a deep kinship with the elements and all things living, whether dark or light, doesn't matter. We are guardians of something whether we want to be or not, but normally something nature related. So where does my passion for something darker and more chaotic come from? Why do they not scare me? I cry when someone hurts a living a thing and I can't bear to hear it cry out, but at the same time what is the lust for the carnage of watching it die? To kill it myself.
It is a conflict to be sure...but is it all Dark Faerie or am I truly a duality of species?